One day, I came home from work to find sticky notes plastered all over my laptop. They were messages from my husband, telling me to watch a basketball documentary so we could bond over his favorite hobby. What I did next made him regret his decision.
My husband, Lance, and I have been married for about five years now. It has been a rollercoaster ride, with lots of ups and downs in our relationship. But what happened a few days ago was something that steered our relationship in a new direction.
Before I tell you what happened, let me share a bit about Lance.
He’s the kind of guy who drops everything to watch NBA games, especially when his favorite team is playing. He’s loved basketball since he was a kid and was even the best player on his school team.
I’ve seen dozens of his trophies lined up in his parents’ house.
“I always wanted to be a part of the national team,” he told me one day, “but my dad really wanted me to study and work in finance. I didn’t want to let him down.”
It’s sad, but Lance never let his passion for basketball die. He was one of the best players on his college team and even joined matches while working his regular job.
In short, he fulfilled his father’s wishes while still pursuing his passion.
I met Lance through Brandon, a friend who played basketball with him. Brandon assured me Lance was kind-hearted and caring, and he thought we’d make a great couple.
So, we dated for almost a year before deciding to tie the knot. I believed marrying him was one of the best decisions of my life until he started pushing me to join his hobbies.
He’d say things like:
“Why don’t you watch the games with me?”
“You need to get more involved in my interests!”
“Brandon always tells me he and his wife bond over their love for basketball.”
The thing is, basketball wasn’t the only hobby he wanted me to enjoy. There was fishing, car shows, video games, and even history books that I couldn’t stand.
When he insisted that it was “important to bond over the things he loves,” I felt he was being selfish.
I mean, why should I have to take an interest in the things HE loved? What about the things I enjoyed?
So, I asked him to try yoga with me.
“Yoga?” he raised an eyebrow. “That’s not my thing.”
“Okay,” I nodded. “How about coming to a painting class? I’m sure you’ll love it!”
“No way!” he protested. “Painting? That’s for women!”
For women? Really, Lance? I thought to myself.
But I didn’t force him. I knew he wasn’t interested, and there was nothing I could do to make him like yoga or painting. I thought this would make him understand why I wasn’t into basketball, but I was wrong.
He kept insisting that I watch basketball and go fishing with him on Sundays, even when I said I wasn’t interested. Eventually, it started to strain our relationship.
“You should be interested in what your husband likes,” he told me one day during an argument. “That’s how all wives are! But you? You’re not a supportive wife.”
“Lance, you literally sound like one of those women from 1985! Are you serious?” I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t believe how outdated his arguments were. “I try to watch the game but I find it so boring. I can’t help it, can I?”
I thought this would be the end of it. But no, there was more.
It was a usual Wednesday evening when I returned home from the gym. I entered the house, freshened up, and then went to the study room to finish an assignment I had been working on. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw my laptop.
It was covered in sticky notes, and all of them had a message scribbled in Lance’s handwriting. They said:
Watch this before I get back!
No excuses.
I know you can do this, Mya.
What is wrong with this man? I thought.
And then, as I opened my laptop, I realized what he was talking about.
This time, Lance wanted me to watch a three-hour basketball documentary. His notes said he’d even prepared a 100-question quiz to test my knowledge.
This can’t be real, I thought.
That’s when I picked up my phone and messaged him.
What’s this? I wrote. Are you serious about the documentary and the quiz? 😠
Yeah, he replied. Don’t even think about slacking off. If you can learn yoga, you can learn about a real sport. 🏀
I stared at the screen for a few seconds, fuming with anger. I had already thought of what to say to him when he returned home. I was so done with this man.
But then, a brilliant idea struck my mind, and I had the perfect plan to make him regret all the times he forced me to be interested in his hobbies.
He wanted me to get involved? I’d get involved.
So, for the next few weeks, I devoted myself to learning everything about his hobbies. Be it basketball, cars, fishing, or video games, I learned the basics of everything. I joined multiple online forums and even watched explainer videos on YouTube to understand everything.
I even started dropping sports terminology at work, impressing some of my male colleagues, including Dan, who was thrilled to hear I was following the latest basketball matches.
“What? Really?” he asked. “I thought you weren’t into these things.”
“I just recently began exploring and I’m hooked!” I chirped.
“Wanna see a live game this weekend?” he offered.
“That would be great, Dan!” I smiled. “Count me in.”
Later that night, I told Lance I’d go watch the basketball game this weekend with Dan. I thought he’d ask to tag along or something, but that man didn’t believe me.
“You and basketball?” he looked at me with a smirk. “Yeah, right!”
Lance thought I was bluffing, so I let him believe that. It wasn’t until Saturday that he realized I was actually going to watch the game.
I could see his eyes following me as I stepped out of the bedroom wearing a crop top with shorts. I still remember the look on his face.
“Wait, you’re actually going?” he asked as he looked at me from head to toe.
“Yeah, Dan’s here to pick me up,” I smiled. “It’s good to bond over hobbies, right? Besides, Dan and I have so much to talk about.”
“But, I—”
“See you at night,” I cut him off.
I could see his eyes following me as I walked out of the front door and sat in Dan’s car. I knew Lance was jealous, and this was exactly how I wanted him to feel.
The game was great, but the real fun began when I returned home.
The hallway was dim, and as I stepped inside, I saw Lance in the living room. He wasn’t watching TV or playing video games.
Instead, there were two yoga mats laid out, and beside them was a basket of yoga gear. Lance awkwardly held a yoga book.
“What’s happening here?” I asked, totally taken aback.
“I… uhh,” I began. “I was wondering if maybe we could do some yoga together?” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
“Yoga? Really?” I asked, trying to control my laughter.
“Yeah,” he muttered, looking down at the mats. “I figured… maybe I should try something you like, too. You know, to bond.”
And there it was… the expression I had been waiting to see. Lance was clearly regretting the moment he asked me to take that ridiculous basketball exam, and all the times he had forced me to take an interest in his hobbies.
I didn’t confront him. Instead, I put my bag on the couch and excitedly walked toward him.
“Alright then, let me show you how to do a proper downward dog,” I said, sitting on the mat.
We haven’t done a lot of yoga since then, but Lance has stopped asking me to watch basketball documentaries or go fishing with him. I guess he has learned that he can’t force his wife to bond with him over things she doesn’t like.
And the trip with Dan?